Talking Points For Those Wounded at Church

What talking points do you suggest? Wednesday (2:00 PM CST, 3/6/19) I will be a guest on the Chris Fabry show. I will speak as one of the wounded to those finding their way forward after church disappointments.

A recent series of tweets from ThinkingGirl expressed where many are at following train wrecks at church. An excerpt:

Truth 1: It’s hard not to lose hope. I find myself having a difficult time going to scripture as all my experience with Harvest, the school, everything leading up to attending, what I was about, and who I was in Christ, was all steeped in scripture–in prayer. . . 

Truth 5: “Walk, walk, in the Word . . .” That’s all I wanted. So, I joined and began the membership classes; was asked to lead small group(s); and per my routine, threw myself into relationship with women. It all seemingly fell into place. Until it didn’t. . . 

Truth 7: It guts you. So, pray for others like me. We who are sure of our salvation. We who have in no way rejected our faith or Jesus. We who are “rooted, established, and built up…” We who just can’t seem to get tethered . . .

Whether from experiences at Willow, Harvest, or in the SBC, too many feel flattened.

I recently shared that my family can relate. We know what it is like to be on the mental gerbil wheel — to wonder why God has allowed such wounds to take place — to be physically ill from stress— to see children uprooted and hurt.

Where my family’s suffering is concerned, I think of Paul’s words to the 2 Corinthians:

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Given that God comforts us in our afflictions so that we can comfort others, my goal on the Chris Fabry show will be to encourage and comfort people who are feeling disillusioned and discouraged about church.

Between now and then, I’m praying about talking points. It’s a live show, and I’m not leading the discussion, but here are areas I may bring up:

• What Scripture should we meditate on when we feel like giving up on church? Are there any passages of Scripture with direct application to those reeling from spiritual abuse? (This is the point I most want to discuss!)
• Where do we go from here? What should we look for in a local church? What do biblical pastors do? What is shepherding?
• How do we need to be careful in encouraging those who are wounded to immediately and automatically forgive?
• What do we do when Christians reach an impasse? I wrote a chapter on this Unpacking Forgiveness. I stand by what I said, but I will add some material if there is a second edition. Can local churches be too autonomous? What have we learned about governance / church polity?
• What is the responsibility of Christian leaders regarding speaking out about the disqualification of another leader? 

Covering the above list would be too much for any one show. We won’t get to everything. Still, what am I missing? What talking points would you add?