Thoughts on Grieving From a Mother

Several years ago, then unthinkable happened for the Terry and Juanita Stauffer family. Their teenage daughter, Emily, was murdered (watch the news story here). Unthinkable.

On the day I am writing this post, I have prayed on my knees for the Stauffer family. Would you pray for them as well? Their grief will not completely heal until they see their daughter again (Revelation 21-22).

Recently, Juanita Stauffer wrote a post in which she offered wisdom on grief. I would encourage you to click through and read her thoughts. Maybe also pray for their family and write and encouraging comment. She begins:

A while ago, my husband and I met with another couple who also lost a daughter around the same time as Emily died. I’ve been thinking about grief  more and the grieving process. The Lord has so graciously brought us through the last almost 4 years.

I’ve been thinking about what it was like to go through the process and what was helpful to my soul. I guess the question is – what would I recommend to someone who is grieving, no matter what stage they are at?

Before I list some thoughts, I should also say that everyone grieves differently and you may find that some of these items don’t apply to your situation. However, I also think it’s important to read different opinions and prayerfully consider what God may be telling you.

Here are some thoughts.

1. Spend time in God’s word every day.

I had been in the habit of reading and praying in the mornings before Emily’s death. After her death, it was so important for me to continue this. Usually it was the only time that I was completely alone. I could read and pray and cry. It forced me to see what God said in His Word and gave me time to express how I was feeling to Him. I also read several books through this process. Sometimes I’d only get through a few pages before I couldn’t read any more but other books I read helped me to face up to what I really believed. See #5 for more details.

2. Listen to music that can express what my mouth cannot.

Music was such an important part of our grieving process. I remember standing in church while the congregation sang Blessed Be Your Name and other songs like it and saying to my husband that I was singing on the inside but I couldn’t sing on the outside. We listened to Come Weary Saints and The Valley of Vision many times. Our girls had those two albums playing every night when they went to bed, particularly in the first 2 months when we were dealing with such fear about who the perpetrator was. Even now, our girls turn to those albums when they need extra comfort. Hymns were also important because of the truths they express both about our life in Christ and about our future hope. Have you ever noticed how often the 4th verse of a hymn points our attention to heaven?

3. Exercise

For me, exercise was very important. . .

Read the rest here.