AP (Keosauqua, IA). Stating that it was a question of honor, the Southeast Iowa center for Brauns family advancement released a statement early Friday denying Milwaukee Brewers Ryan Braun’s request to formally add an “s” to his name.
“Our appeal process works a bit differently than Major League Baseball, said spokesman,” Paul Brauns. “Along with everything else, we thought he could have done a better job hitting the slider. Indeed, we would have been in favor of the juice if he would have turned on a few more off speed pitches.”
When reporters doggedly asked if Braun would be able to use an “s” when referencing the possessive, Brauns was gracious but also firm. “Yes, we have decided to allow Braun to continue to use an “s” when referring to his possessions. However,” Brauns said, taking on a very stern tone, “we darn well better see an apostrophe on the left side of the ‘s’ or Braun will need to be a lot more concerned about our legal process than he is about some the Olympic Laboratory in Montreal.”
For his part, Ryan Braun tearfully expressed disappointment. “While we were relieved to hear about Major League Baseball, we were really counting on being able to add an ‘s’.”
I’m glad that the appeals process worked out for your family!
Way to stand on principle! The audacity of whiffing on sliders and still thinking you have the right to pluralize your name. I say stay in your lonely singular until you figure out how to hit the ball (not the bong).
Thank you for taking a stand not only for the Brauns family honor but also for representing the great state of Iowa. Don’t let anyone tamper with your good name.
…,” said Braun, a smile creasing his drug-ravaged features.
From Keosauqua, making him the first foreign Grand Lemming.