Questions 7&8 of A New Forgiveness Quiz

It is still not too late to enter the contest.  I will continue to blog through the quiz on consecutive Friday’s until December 4th.  Each Friday I will give away two copies of Unpacking Forgiveness.  On December 4th, I will give away a Flip Camera.  (Take A New Forgiveness Quiz)

The next two winners for A New Forgiveness Quiz are:

westonlit

pastorgib

I am posting the next two winners.  I know  people don’t necessarily appreciate having either their emails or their names broadcast on the Internet.  If those of you who win would like to comment, that would be wonderful!

Question 7 – God punishes Christians for their sins even though they are forgiven. FALSE.

A distinction should be made between God’s discipline (which is future oriented) and God’s punishment. If God punished believers for their sins, then he would send them immediately to hell. 

At the same time, forgiveness does not mean the elimination of consequences.  God does discipline his children.  Piper summarizes:

Piper writes, “But the aim of God-sent consequences of forgiveness of sin are: (1) To demonstrate the exceeding evil of sin, (2) to show that God does not take sin lightly even when He lays aside His punishment, and (3) to humble and sanctify the sinner.” John Piper, "How Do I Understand the Ongoing Consequences of Forgiven Sins?," The Journal of Biblical Counseling 16, no. 3 (1998): 54-55.

Here is an excerpt from Unpacking Forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean the elimination of all consequences.

If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, then you are saved (Acts 16:31). So far as east is from the west, so far does God remove the transgressions of his children from them (Psalm 103:11-12). There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). Nevertheless, these truths do not teach that those forgiven by God face no consequences for sin. On the contrary! This side of heaven, we will continue to work through the consequences of our rebellion against God. One of the most famous examples of this are the consequences David faced for his adultery with Bathsheba and his subsequent attempts to cover up the sin through deceit and murder.

When God used the prophet Nathan to confront David, he realized the magnitude of his sin and was truly repentant (2 Samuel 12:7). Nathan told David that God would forgive him for his sin (2 Samuel 12:13). However, there were still consequences, and severe ones at that. Nathan told David that there would be violence amongst his family (2 Samuel 12:10) and that the baby Bathsheba and he had conceived would die (2 Samuel 12:13). Even after the death of the baby, David faced those horrible consequences of ongoing violence in his family. One son, Amnon, raped David’s daughter Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-22). Another son, Absalom, then killed Amnon (2 Samuel 13:23-33). Later, Absalom attempted to take over David’s kingdom (Samuel 15-19).

The reality of consequences raises a question: If God truly forgives, if he no longer holds the sin against the forgiven, then why are there are consequences? The answer is that God disciplines His own, not for the purpose of punishing them but for his glory and their joy in the future. These consequences are not punishment. Rather, they are how God trains and teaches.

The author of Hebrews stressed this point in Hebrews 12:5-12 when he wrote that God disciplines his children as a father the son he delights in. Two words are used to refer to the idea of disciplining. The first one means “to train.” This word was used in relation to raising children. Believers can expect to be “trained” by God. The second word we see is a harsher one. It means to scourge or punish. The ESV translates it “chastises.” This word appears seven times in the New Testament, and every other time it refers to literal “flogging.” Hebrews 12:6 says that we can expect discipline and direction from God, and at times it will be painful.

The reason God disciplines his children is given in Hebrews 12:10-11.

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:10-11

God allows us to face the consequences of sin for our own ultimate good, that we may eventually share more fully in his holiness and reap an abundant harvest of righteousness and peace.

Once when our son Christopher was only two, he made an unauthorized trip to our neighbor’s house. He snuck out our front door and crossed the street before my wife Jamie even missed him. He trotted up to our neighbors’ front door, knocked, and asked if he could play with their sons. Now obviously, we could not allow a toddler to leave our home without permission and cross a street again. So, we did our best as parents to make that a painful memory for Christopher. We lovingly sought to associate pain with his memory of disobedience.

Why did we do that? It certainly wasn’t that we wanted to “get him back” for going out on the street. Jamie and I weren’t thinking, “Okay, buddy, now you’re gonna pay.” Rather, we were seeking to train and instruct him for the future.

If you choose to disobey, then expect consequences. God loves his children too much to allow you to “play in the road.” But don’t confuse discipline and penalty. Discipline is the loving correction of a parent. Penalty is the price required for the offense. If you are a believer, the purpose of God’s discipline is not to inflict upon you the punishment you deserve. If that were the case, then God would send you to hell. God disciplines his children so that they might understand the seriousness of sin and be increasingly conformed to the image of his Son.

Question 8 – A person could forgive a spouse, yet still seek a divorce. TRUE.

Forgiveness does not mean the elimination of consequences. While divorce is to be avoided, God does allow divorce and there comes a time in marriage when divorce is allowed.

Great care needs to be taken here.  In NO sense, should divorce be encouraged.  If you are in a troubled marriage, then God’s best for you is to see the grace of God heal your marriage. At the same time, be warned.  If you are considering being unfaithful to your spouse, then you should know that there comes a time when it is too late.

Here is another excerpt from Unpacking Forgiveness:

Must a person always stay married to a spouse who says he or she is repentant?

Suppose a husband is repeatedly unfaithful. Each time his infidelity comes out, he tearfully asks forgiveness. Two questions arise. Must his wife always forgive him? Must there always be reconciliation in the marriage?

This deserves a book all its own. I will give only the briefest of answers here. But the answer to the first question is that she should forgive him. Jesus taught clearly that we should forgive the one who repents an unlimited number of times (Luke 17:3-4). Of course, this assumes the person is repentant. If he is clearly insincere, then she should not forgive him. But, here, we must also be extremely careful in evaluating motives.

The second question—“Must there always be reconciliation?”—is far more complex. As Chapters 3 and 4 argued, forgiveness does not necessarily mean the elimination of consequences. In the case of marriage, there are times when the Bible allows for divorce (Matthew 19:1-12, 1 Corinthians 7:10-16). So, in the situation described here, the wife might say to an unfaithful husband, “I do forgive you. But you have broken our marriage covenant repeatedly. I can’t live any longer with someone I can’t trust, so we can no longer be married.”

Divorce is never God’s best. God hates divorce. While he permits divorce in a fallen world, we must do all that we can to avoid divorce (Malachi 2:16) and the fallout it causes for all involved. If you are contemplating divorce, you can count on this: The divorce you imagine is not the divorce you will have. The cost of divorce is always greater than you thought it would be.

Deciding what to do when a spouse repeatedly commits a grave offense is a matter of spiritual wisdom and discernment that should be made only by a growing Christian in close interaction with a pastor and other spiritual leaders. Scripture teaches that it is as we give ourselves as living sacrifices to the Lord that we are able to discern God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12:1-2). And pastors are given as gifts to God’s people so that they can be equipped for what they face (Ephesians 4:11-12, 1 Peter 5:1-4). Learn from other mature believers at such times. “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Proverbs 18:1, 19:20).

If you are in a situation where you believe you must consider divorce, my heart goes out to you. Be assured: God is a great God. He can heal your marriage. Even if you are convinced that you could never have feelings for your spouse again, God who spoke all things into existence can resurrect your marriage. If you must pursue divorce, do so only while you are growing as a Christian, involved in a Christ-centered, Bible-believing local church, and closely interacting with a pastor and spiritually-mature people.