Doug Wilson:
At a recent conference, my wife heard a funny story about some old friends of ours who had moved to another state. They have two small children, a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Once when both children needed to be disciplined, the four-year-old was off getting spanked and the two-year-old was sitting in the hall while her brother was receiving his just deserts. As she was waiting, her father heard her singing Psalm 20 to herself—”the Lord hear thee in troubled times.” “That doesn’t apply here!” he told her.
We have had many occasions where high school and college students, large numbers of them, have been sitting around in our living room, telling stories. Periodically, the theme will turn to spanking stories, and one of the most remarkable features of such storytelling has been the affection that the stories reveal. Disciplined children are not abused children; they are secure children. Not surprisingly, secure children grow up into secure young men and women. Abused children are not really being disciplined—they actually become as undisciplined (in the biblical sense) as their angry and undisciplined parents. Abuse is not an excess of discipline—it is a total absence of righteous discipline.
Read the whole thing here.
HT: Texas A&M enthusiast, Gunny.
Great point by Wilson. Though I’ve never articulated in quite those terms, I can totally relate to the story-swapping that takes place between people when they talk about the various punishments they received as children. Most often these stories are delivered with some level of affection, as Wilson mentions it, but I’d like to add that they’re given with a sense of pride as well. Most of us our, in some way and in some measure, proud of the discipline we received.
I’ll never forget watching Lindsay whack her doll on the behind, and then lovingly say, “Mommy loves you, but you must obey…”
Cole just asked me yesterday to tell about the time he was two and some friends came for the weekend. When the friends left, they said to each other (and later to us), “We didn’t really get to see much of Ken and Shannon. They were in the bathroom disciplining Cole the whole time!” Cole now thinks this is hillarious.