There is such a thing as being so right that you’re wrong. One of the most dangerous points in life is when you’re know that you’re right and you begin to really, really hold on to being right.
Let’s say that someone has offended you, and you know that you have been wronged. Many of us have a tendency at those points to hold on or to blow the thing up.
Don’t do it.
One of the verses I talk about a lot in my book, Unpacking Forgiveness, is Proverbs 19:11. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It’s to his glory to overlook an offense.”
There are times when the most glorious thing to do is not to hold stubbornly on to being right – – rather, let the matter go.
Of course, it takes the wisdom of Solomon to discern which times we need to stand on God’s principles, and which times we need to let go of a matter. One of the areas I spend a lot of time on in my book, Unpacking Forgiveness is how to know when to pursue resolution of an offense, and when to simply let the matter go.
I wonder if there is someone listening right now who is about to really dig in about something at church, or home. You’re sure that you’re right. And, you probably are. But, don’t insist on being right so vehemently that you end up being wrong.
Remember, a man’s wisdom gives him patience. It’s to his glory to overlook an offense. Love covers over a multitude of sins.
This post really got to me. I find myself doing the very thing you are talking about at times. But I seem to pick and choose the people I do this with.
I am learning to overlook things that offend me in degrees. By that I mean the closer I am to a person the less likely I am to overlook something. God is showing me how offensive I am in doing this. I can also see this in people I know. This leads to bitterness and anger neither of these is a good quality to have. God in His mercy and grace is showing me how to let go and move on.
Inge, thanks for that response. I think there is real wisdom in it. You are on to something about how we are with people close to us.
I also wonder if we don’t tend to “hang on” to things more at church because we go in with the premise that everything should be right there of all places.
I think you are right about the church thing. We seem to set the bar higher for other members of the congregation than we do for ourselves. But then we get angry when non-believers do the same to us.
I have to keep telling myself in situations like this that they are offending God and not me. That is what keeps me from losing it at times. It has also helped me to see these people more in tune with the way God sees them. I think we tend to forget that without the mercy and grace of God and His forgiveness, we would be those very people we are so angry and bitter towards.
Thanks for this Chris. There is a point when winning becomes losing (1 Cor 6:7b comes to mind). When our kiddos were still at home and in high school, my wife continually and wisely reminded me to pick our battles carefully. Not all issues are worth our coming out on top if we lose ground in leveraging the relationships for the long haul. She was right.