One of the statements on the Forgiveness Quiz was:
“There are times when it is wrong to forgive.”
I maintain that this is a true statement. (Read here). I won’t even concede that it’s a trick question.
Is it not relatively easy to identify examples when forgiveness is wrong:
God doesn’t forgive those who refuse to believe in Him.
It is wrong for Party A to forgive Party B when Party A is not the offended. How would you feel if your child was killed by a terrorist, and a Christian group not directly involved stepped forward and said, “We forgive them.”
So, how did we get to the point where 2/3 of people think forgiveness is never wrong? The answer is that people in our culture basically describe forgiveness as a feeling. What is meant by forgiveness is the absence of angry or bitter thoughts.
But, the Bible describes forgiveness as something that happens between two parties. One of the chapters in my book is, “More than a Feeling.” (I did go to college during the Boston era. I know the song well).
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Here area couple of helpful links about times when forgiveness is wrong.
Read Dan Phillips post about the Dixie Chicks here. Most of us have blissfully forgotten that the Dixie Chicks ever existed. However, this post is worth reading for Dan’s analysis of when forgiveness is not appropriate.
Read Mohler’s recent article here about “False apology syndrome.”
i agree with your post. personally, i think too many people don’t understand what true forgiveness is and they take it upon themselves to forgive when it isn’t their place to do so. true forgiveness brings about a change in attitude. it is one thing to say you forgive another person, but it is something else entirely to act like you forgive.
i’ve just sat my oxford aptitute test (thinking skill assessment) and my essay question was ‘when, if ever, is forgiveness wrong?’… a tricky question. in my opinion, it’s never wrong if it’s truly heartfelt.
Hannah, thanks for the comment. I think I understand your point there. However, we shouldn’t, nor can we afford, to feel bitter and be consumed by hate. I don’t think that ceasing to feel anger and bitterness is ever wrong.
However, biblically, forgiveness is about much more than that. I build my case in Unpacking Forgiveness.