First, the really important stuff. The first two winners are both from the state of Pennsylvania:
David Marks
Rebecca Wimer
David and Rebecca’s books are signed and in the mail. And, Unpacking Forgiveness is now available. Click here.
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As for the results. Here is the first of several posts. A total of 870 participated. We basically agreed on several of the questions.
On half the questions: 1,3,5,7 –we nearly all agreed.
On two of the questions: 2, 4 –just over half of you agreed with me—
On two of the questions: 6, 8–I was in the minority.
Only 7% agreed with me perfectly (and one of those was my mother).
Now, I’ll allow that there is some ambiguity in a quiz like this. There are a couple I could argue the other way. . . Still, I don’t think the difference in opinion results simply from the instrument of the quiz. Rather, if nothing else, the quiz demonstrates that there is a great range of opinion about what the Bible teaches about forgiveness.
In a fallen world, relationships get damaged and broken. We all wound, and we are all wounded. We must know what we believe about forgiveness.
Below is the detail of how people responded.
The answers are hyperlinks to explanations.
# |
Statement |
Chris’s Answer |
% Who Agreed |
%Who Disagreed |
1. |
Where deep wounds are concerned, forgiveness can be unpacked in a moment. |
79 |
21 |
|
2. |
Personal happiness and joy can legitimately motivate people to live out what the Bible teaches about forgiveness. |
57 |
43 |
|
3. |
Most Christian pastors and counselors agree about what forgiveness is and how it should take place. |
92 |
8 |
|
4. |
Forgiveness occurs properly only when certain conditions are met. |
57 |
43 |
|
5. |
Jesus said little about how people should resolve interpersonal conflict. |
96 |
4 |
|
6. |
A willingness to forgive is a “test” of whether or not a person will go to heaven when he or she dies. |
45 |
55 |
|
7. |
Good people get to the bottom of all their disagreements. |
91 |
9 |
|
8. |
There are times when it is wrong to forgive. |
33 |
67 |
Thanks for the breakdown. This was very interesting. Just as a side note, I misunderstood what you were asking in question two and would have answered “correctly” had I understood the true meaning. 😀
Kim, I think that is a question that could be misunderstood. If I had looked at the quiz for the first time, having not written it, I might have answered liked you.
The point I wanted to get to in my book is that people need not dread forgiveness. As a pastor I have seen many, many occasions where people shudder at the thought of working through forgiveness.
In this area, John Piper has been a tremendous help to me. There is no tension between God’s glory and my joy.
I could not really understand the thinking or lack of understanding of the young Christian girl I mentioned on your forgiveness post (God will forgive everybody because He is loving), until I read your thoughts on forgiveness and realized her thinking is a logical extension of #8 (also a ‘famous name’ speaker in the Evangelical world has postulated the same)
Why do they ‘dread forgiveness’? The only reason I don’t want to forgive is because I want to hold on to my anger, resentment and bitterness and feel sorry for myself. Yes, it is hard to see ‘my’ stuff as sin, and confess ‘my’ stuff to God, but it is so freeing… It doesn’t mean I become a ‘doormat’ to the offender or have to run after them to prove how ‘loving and forgiving’ I am or have to do it in my own mental capacities… when I am changed by God – well, I’m just different – think differently, love differently, respond differently. That kind of freedom brings real joy.
Thanks again for the most thought provoking articles. I look forward to reading your book.
I really would like to understand #6 and Matthew 6:14-15 and how it fits with salvation being by grace and not works. Perhaps the book explains this. It makes sense to me that forgivenes can be a sign of the indwelling of the Spirit, but I wonder if we can judge our salvation based on whether or not we forgive.
Anyway, I’ve heard that we should “judge the cloudy in light of what is clear”. And Ephesians 2:8-9 and other grace passages are quite clear…still, I’d like to come to a better understanding of salvation and sanctification and the Biblical understanding of it. I think that if you were to ask 100 Christians how they might explain the gospel presentation to someone, there would be variation in what they include…sure the message of the cross would be the same, but, I think some would emphasize just believing, some would emphasize repentance, believing and accepting, some would emphasize the above and also bring in the “Lordship” aspect…even though all of the above are important elements, I wonder if it ever gets presented in a way where it looks like you have to do X, Y, and Z first before coming to Christ. I think a lot of change might come through Christ’s Spirit after you come to, believe in, and embrace Christ. Of course change can come before as well as He draws unbelievers to Himself.
Anyway, salvation is something I want to reflect more upon and more clearly understand how it works.
Great thoughts Rachael. Salvation is ONLY by faith. While we’re saved by faith alone, we’re not saved by faith that’s alone. There should be fruit. The person unwilling to show grace, should question the spiritual reality of his or her life.
I think we’re on the same page. Quacking doesn’t make you a duck. But, ducks quack. Forgiving doesn’t make you a Christian. But, Christians forgive.
“While we’re saved by faith alone, we’re not saved by faith that’s alone.” – That’s a great way to put it. Thank you –
Rachael — one of the Reformers said it first –so, I get to no credit.
Hi Chris,
On my disorganized computer desk I’m SURE I have the address to send the check for the book on forgiveness. But,…
Could you send it once again, please?
Chris,
With regards to question eight, I think “automatic forgiveness” is likely driven by a sort of legalistic naivety for it suggests that we are required to proffer forgiveness, even when such forgiveness is disingenuous.
Yet I wonder about Stephen, who, even as he was dying begged the Lord not to hold this sin against those who were murdering him. It reminds me of Christ’s own words, as He too was being murdered by less than repentant sinners, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Granted, forgiving sin automatically isn’t always appropriate, yet at the same time, I see in these examples that came to mind a possible danger in brokering our forgiveness upon whether we see or anticipate actual repentance in the one we would forgive.
I am probably misunderstanding the thrust of what you are saying, so rather than mumble on and look foolish, I humbly as for instruction in the matter. How do these examples fit into the scheme of things?
I appreciate any light you can shine on this.
Dan
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Dan,
I think you are right to be cautious. We don’t want to get into such brokering & evaluating of motives etc.
We ought always to offer forgiveness. Like Christ or Stephen, we should pray that offenders come to a place where they are forgiven. We can’t take revenge. We should look for ways to proactively reach out.
So, we wrap the present of forgiveness. It’s up to them if they receive it or not.
If you would like, send me an e-mail – – chris (at) theredbrickchurch.org. In Word format, I’ll send you a document that summarizes how it all fits together. And, it’s not even in the book!
I intend to read the book. I just had one question on what should be done with “non-apologies.” People who show no remorse for offenses and use words like “if” or “but” in their apologies. For example I had a woman tell me she was a Christian and when she offended me later and I told her I was offended, she replied with a smile, “I don’t believe I did anything wrong, but if I did, then I am sorry.” In other words my perception of the offense according to her was wrong and no offense was comitted. She was gaslighting me.
Another time another woman who was a Christian apologied with a big smile on her face and asked me to forgive her without any sign of regret or remorse. I did not think her apology was sincere. What do you do then? Do you forgive anyway and move on and say their apology nomatter how insincere is between them and God?