If you are new to this, please read the first skunk installment.
We still haven’t taken any action on our uninvited guest in the front ditch, and slowly he is driving our family crazy. We’re nearing our breaking point. It’s our own private Cold War with nature and the Russians have parked missiles on Cuba.
Jamie suspects that “he” may have little skunkies in the ditch. And, she otherwise views him as a potentially aggressive creature, something of a cross between a rabid wolf and that rabbit in Monty Python. So, she is constantly giving the children orientation on what to do if they see the skunk—Ben would carry a sidearm if we allowed it.
Which Ben did spot the skunk yesterday in the culvert under our driveway.
Jamie is also concerned that the skunk will invade our garage. Many, “Keep the garage doors closed,” warnings are issued throughout the day. If the skunk has missile silos on Cuba, then the garage is Florida and Jamie is ready to start building fallout shelters.
Me, I’m the leader in our family. I continue to brainstorm about how to rid ourselves of this oppressor.
All I know about skunk warfare is what I learn from television and movies. My latest alternative is to leave a trail of bread crumbs leading to a remote destination some distance from our house. Then when Pepe Le Pew follows the crumbs, I can be in a sort of blind and can pop up and blast. I picture either the Rambo approach, where I am in a mud bank and suddenly my eyes open just before I step out to deal with the skunk. Or, perhaps, the Red Dawn approach (that old cult movie with Patrick Swayze) where I am actually hidden in the prairie.
This tactic has many advantages over the Dirty Dozen Approach. Yet, as I recall, the trail of bread crumbs didn’t work so well for Hansel and Grettel. I would need to leave something that doesn’t appeal to our area birds. Further, my fear would be that I would wait all night for the skunk to appear in the pumpkin patch and would end up like Linus in the Charlie Brown special. Jamie would have to go out early in the morning and drag me inside.
I’m surprised you haven’t considered the Caddyshack approach….. (I tried to paste a picture of Bill Murray here so you could see if you have the right “look” but wasn’t successful.)
Ben would carry a sidearm… in the event that you had one… not saying you do…
Funny that Shelley would mention the Caddyshack approach. I was thinking the exact thing. Great minds and all that… I can hear you now…
License to kill skunks by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill skunks at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.
I see what we all remember from our growing up years.
I was kicking myself for not cueing Kenny Loggins…
What is the latest in the ongoing skunk drama? I’m on the edge of my seat here…
Amazing you should ask. Honest this is true. Just moments ago, we had a major skunk incident. Jamie resisted taking out Mandy (for fear that the skunk would leap out of the darkness with it’s tail uplifted).
I made fun of her. The kids laughed. We put the dog out.
Then I heard a strange wailing sound from the deck, opened the door and was met by the unmistakable aroma of Pepe Lepew.
Honest, this is true.
Mandy, fortunately, did not take a direct hit. But, the skunk is on the prowl.
I went out looking, but found nothing.
The drama continues.
Well… I was browsing Yahoo news and was quite disturbed to read an article about an Ohio family with skunk problems (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080618/ap_on_fe_st/odd_skunk_infestation;_ylt=AhWs887_WRvui5xm9SOwLZPtiBIF) Of course this made me think of your dilemma. Please do not send Mandy out alone! I fear the revolution is underway… (I’m thinking Animal Farm… four legs good… two legs bad)
You might want to have some tomato juice on hand… just in case!
I have a Citori 12 gauge over and under shotgun.
That’ll do. Might I suggest sitting in the dark near the patio doors in your evening wear…