Archives For Forgiveness

If you’re unpacking forgiveness — and we all are in a broken world — then I highly recommend Colin Smith’s sermon, “When God Can’t Forgive.”

Colin Smith: When God Can’t Forgive Part 1

Colin Smith: When God Can’t Forgive Part 2 

Consider:

  • His explanation of the relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation. 
  • How much repentance is needed for forgiveness to begin.
  • The Calvin quote on repentance and the Christian life. 

See also:

The Forgiveness Quiz – This will get you started thinking about forgiveness.

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross? – One of the first questions that comes up when we talk about the truth that Christians should not always forgive.

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness – This is a collection of quotes from others who interact with the subject of conditional forgiveness.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness – Numerous problems arise when we encourage cheap grace. Here are 5 examples

Should I confront an offender or just get over it? – What should be confronted? What should be let go? This post will help you work through the question of when to confront.

How can I stop thinking about it? – The “mental gerbil wheel” is one of the most difficult aspects of deep offenses.

How can I forgive myself? – This is another forgiveness question people often raise.

Chris Brauns Review of Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall – Is it okay for Christians to forgive God. Some authors argue there are times it is appropriate. In this review for The Gospel Coalition I interact with R.T. Kendall’s book.

Watch the below video with Dr. Jeremy Pierre. If I ever issue a revised copy of Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds I’m going to pay my own gas money to buy Dr. Pierre lunch so we can talk biblical forgiveness. He interacts with hard questions in a way that is both pastorally sensitive and biblically responsible. 

“How do I forgive someone who refuses to say sorry?” Much of the reason I wrote Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds was to interact with this question. There are at least two extremes to avoid.

  • On the one hand, Christians should always follow Christ’s example and proactively show love (Romans 5:8, Romans 12:21). Using the word picture of gift giving, we should always wrap the package of forgiveness and offer it to those who hurt us. 
  • Yet, Christians must also avoid diminishing evil that is done nor should they be help captive by unrepentant offenders (Romans 12:19, 2 Thess 1:6-10, 2 Tim 4:14). If the offending party is unwilling to repent and unwrap the package, then we can trust God for justice.

See also:

The Forgiveness Quiz – This will get you started thinking about forgiveness.

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross? – One of the first questions that comes up when we talk about the truth that Christians should not always forgive.

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness – This is a collection of quotes from others who interact with the subject of conditional forgiveness.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness – Numerous problems arise when we encourage cheap grace. Here are 5 examples

Should I confront an offender or just get over it? – What should be confronted? What should be let go? This post will help you work through the question of when to confront.

How can I stop thinking about it? – The “mental gerbil wheel” is one of the most difficult aspects of deep offenses.

How can I forgive myself? – This is another forgiveness question people often raise.

Chris Brauns Review of Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall – Is it okay for Christians to forgive God. Some authors argue there are times it is appropriate. In this review for The Gospel Coalition I interact with R.T. Kendall’s book.

Amish people in PennsylvaniaChristians horrifically injured by unrepentant offenders should point an onlooking world to the Cross.

It has now been over 10 years since Charles Roberts IV murdered five Amish little girls in Nickles Mines, PA, and injured five others, before killing himself. Two recent articles give an update.

Several have asked me to comment on the recent stories of how Amish forgiveness has brought healing to the shooter’s mother.

The above articles offer positive evaluations of the Amish response. I wholeheartedly agree that the love the Amish have demonstrated is beautiful. Amish grace has done so much to stop what could have been a cycle of anger and revenge. But there is a crucial element missing.

When the Offense is Grave and the Offender Is Unrepentant

In Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds I argued that when the offense is grave and the offender is unrepentant Christians must follow the example of Christ in 3 ways. These principles are explicit in Romans 12:17-21 and 1 Peter 2:21-25.

  1. No revenge. Scripture clearly prohibits Christians from retaliating in any way (Romans 12:17, Romans 12:19). Any bitterness or vindictiveness is completely off limits for Christians.
  2. Proactively show love. Christ demonstrated his love for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). Likewise, Christians should look for ways to positively and creatively reach out to those who injure us (Romans 12:17).
  3. Leave room for the wrath of God. God has promised that he will see that justice is done (1 Peter 2:23, Romans 12:19). The Bible consistently comforts victims, not by saying that the sin will be overlooked, but rather by encouraging us to give the matter to God (cf. 2 Thess 1:5-10, 2 Timothy 4:14, Revelation 6:10).

In Unpacking Forgiveness, I showed how commendably the Amish have followed principles 1 & 2. Here is an excerpt of what I wrote:

The beauty and loveliness of Christ reflected in the lives of the Amish in how they responded to Roberts. There was never a thought of revenge. They showed love proactively and creatively. First, there was the thirteen-year-old, Marian, who asked Roberts to shoot her first. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). God bless Marian.

The families continued what Marian began. When donations began to pour in to help with the expenses, the Amish immediately offered assistance  to the family of the man who had murdered their daughters. One Amish elder explained: Who will take care of their family? It’s not right if we get $1,000 and they get $5. We must set something up for these children’s education.

The stories of Amish grace and love after the shooting can only be highlighted here. More than half of the people who attended the funeral for Charles Roberts were Amish. Parents of the slain children invited Roberts’s widow, Marie Roberts, to attend the funeral for their daughters. Overwhelmed by such love and grace, Marie Roberts wrote to the Amish, “Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world.

It is principle number three that concerns me where the Amish response is in view. In terms of what has been reported, there is almost nothing written that shows the Amish pointed an onlooking world to the justice of God and the necessity of the Cross. Here is another excerpt from Unpacking Forgiveness:

. . . I believe the Amish community of Nickel Mines glorified God in how they proactively and lovingly offered grace to the family of the man who murdered their daughters. They were so exemplary in their love amid such awful circumstances that one hesitates to differ with their response in any way. And yet because their actions were widely represented as a model of how Christians should respond to evil, it is appropriate to consider if their response could have been more balanced.

So far as I am aware, and I have not done an exhaustive study, there was little or no mention by the Amish of the justice of God. From the beginning they automatically forgave Roberts. An Amish woman said on television that they had to forgive if they wanted God to forgive them. The grandfather of a victim said, “We shouldn’t think evil of the man who did this. “

It is true that Christians must not be overcome by hatred. Yet, Christians must also warn an onlooking world about the justice of God. Christians should most explicitly point people to the cross when evil is darkest. There is a way to lovingly remind people that God’s judgment is certain (Hebrews 9:27). There is not room here to dialogue thoroughly with the Amish position. Several quick points, however, can be made.

The Amish do practice conditional forgiveness with their own members. They shun those who breach their order and do not receive them back into fellowship unless they are repentant.

The Amish do believe in hell and eternal judgment. While they may say that they forgive an unrepentant offender, they believe God will deal justly with him or her.

The Amish are not evangelistic. While a rare event such as Nickel Mines may draw attention to Amish faith, it is hard to square their radical separation from culture to Jesus’ commandment to go into all the world to make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). Amish passivity is not effective in calling people to faith and repentance.

See also:

The Forgiveness Quiz – This will get you started thinking about forgiveness.

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross? – One of the first questions that comes up when we talk about the truth that Christians should not always forgive.

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness – This is a collection of quotes from others who interact with the subject of conditional forgiveness.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness – Numerous problems arise when we encourage cheap grace. Here are 5 examples

Should I confront an offender or just get over it? – What should be confronted? What should be let go? This post will help you work through the question of when to confront.

How can I stop thinking about it? – The “mental gerbil wheel” is one of the most difficult aspects of deep offenses.

How can I forgive myself? – This is another forgiveness question people often raise.

Chris Brauns Review of Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall – Is it okay for Christians to forgive God. Some authors argue there are times it is appropriate. In this review for The Gospel Coalition I interact with R.T. Kendall’s book.

 

Should We Forgive God?

Chris —  August 16, 2016

Following my appearance on the national Moody radio program, Up for Debate, hostess Julie Roys asked me to write a guest post for her blog addressing the question, “Should We Forgive God?”

Here is how Julie introduced the post:

Today, people commonly talk about forgiving God. But, is this idea biblical? This question surfaced last Saturday on my radio show, Up For Debate, and sparked passionate dialogue. Interestingly, my guest, who maintained that forgiveness is unconditional, argued that we can forgive God. But, author and Pastor Chris Brauns, who believes forgiveness is conditional, argued emphatically that we cannot. He further asserted that the notion of forgiving God is inextricably linked with the notion that forgiveness is unconditional — something he defined as “therapeutic forgiveness.” Intrigued, I asked Pastor Brauns to follow up by writing a guest post for my blog on the topic. Graciously, he agreed —and I am so glad he did because I think his reflections are extremely helpful. Enjoy! —Julie

Read the rest here.

UpforDebateI will be on the Up for Debate show with Julie Roys at 11:00 AM CST, 8/13/16. Listen here

*****

I’m looking forward to unpacking forgiveness today with Julie Roys and another guest (Remy Diederich). We are going to go right after tough forgiveness questions and common Christian misunderstandings.

Hopefully, many of you can listen live. If not, I will post a link to the audio if one is available. In the mean time, below are forgiveness links that well help you begin to think through relevant forgiveness questions.

The Forgiveness Quiz – This will get you started thinking about forgiveness.

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross? – One of the first questions that comes up when we talk about the truth that Christians should not always forgive.

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness – This is a collection of quotes from others who interact with the subject of conditional forgiveness.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness – Numerous problems arise when we encourage cheap grace. Here are 5 examples

Should I confront an offender or just get over it? – What should be confronted? What should be let go? This post will help you work through the question of when to confront.

How can I stop thinking about it? – The “mental gerbil wheel” is one of the most difficult aspects of deep offenses.

How can I forgive myself? – This is another forgiveness question people often raise.

Chris Brauns Review of Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall – Is it okay for Christians to forgive God. Some authors argue there are times it is appropriate. In this review for The Gospel Coalition I interact with R.T. Kendall’s book.

I’m looking forward to being on Moody Radio with Julie Roys on the show, Up for Debate.” Here is the program description given:

Should Christians Forgive No Matter What?

Should Christians forgive someone even if he’s not sorry?  Or does true forgiveness require repentance and a desire to reconcile?  This Saturday, on Up For Debate, Julie Roys will explore this issue with Chris Brauns, a pastor who believes forgiveness requires repentance, and Remy Diederich who believes it does not. Listen and join this challenging discussion, this Saturday at 11 a.m. Central Time, on Up For Debate!

Read more here.

brusselsI wrote a guest post for Grand Rapids Theological Seminary regarding the Christian response to terrorism.

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The reluctance of Christians to soberly consider the biblical doctrine of God’s wrath leaves us vulnerable to bitterness.

 It was the picture of an x-ray that punched me in the stomach. My wife got emotional when she heard the sound of a baby crying. But for me, watching the nightly news, it was the image of a bolt embedded in the chest of one of the victims of the Belgium terrorist attacks that made me mad.

 There is such a thing as righteous anger. But I was somewhere beyond righteous. Looking at the x-ray of shrapnel that had viciously ripped its way into someone’s chest, I did not feel constrained by the love of Christ.

Read the rest here.

 

Karl & June Mornings on Moody RadioUpdate: I will be on the Karl and June show again tomorrow morning (Good Friday, 3/25/16 @ 7:00 AM CST. Click through to their site to stream.

*****

I’m looking forward to unpacking forgiveness on the Karl and June Mornings show on Moody Radio Monday morning (3/21/16) at 7:00 AM CST. The hosts and I are going to go right after tough forgiveness questions and common Christian misunderstandings.

Hopefully, many of you can listen live. If not, I will post a link to the audio if one is available. In the mean time, below are forgiveness links that well help you begin to think through relevant forgiveness questions.

The Forgiveness Quiz – This will get you started thinking about forgiveness.

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross? – One of the first questions that comes up when we talk about the truth that Christians should not always forgive.

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness – This is a collection of quotes from others who interact with the subject of conditional forgiveness.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness – Numerous problems arise when we encourage cheap grace. Here are 5 examples

Should I confront an offender or just get over it? – What should be confronted? What should be let go? This post will help you work through the question of when to confront.

How can I stop thinking about it? – The “mental gerbil wheel” is one of the most difficult aspects of deep offenses.

How can I forgive myself? – This is another forgiveness question people often raise.

Chris Brauns Review of Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall – Is it okay for Christians to forgive God. Some authors argue there are times it is appropriate. In this review for The Gospel Coalition I interact with R.T. Kendall’s book.

Screenshot 2015-07-28 18.58.13Pastor Michael Boys of Christ Community Church in Houston recently preached one of the best sermons I have heard on forgiveness. You can listen here.

I would encourage you to listen for yourself. Be prepared to notice several points:

  • Notice how Michael consistently reminds us that the gospel is basic for our understanding of forgiveness.
  • Michael introduces the term “layers of forgiveness.” This is a very helpful way of saying things and clarifies some points I have made in the past. If I revised Unpacking Forgiveness right now I would use that language – – and ideally give Michael credit.
  • Michael makes the important point that passages that are detailed and specific (such as Luke 17:3-4) help clarify more general passages like Mark 11:25.

There were other profound thoughts. But I forget what they were. I listened while I was walking and it was very hot, though not Houston hot!

On forgiveness, see also:

The Forgiveness Quiz

Others on Unconditional Forgiveness

A One Page Overview of Forgiveness

Is Forgiveness Always Right and Required? by Justin Taylor

Slowing Down the Runaway Forgiveness Train: Is there such a thing as too much mercy? by Scot McKnight

As We Forgive Our Debtors a sermon by John Piper

I Faced My Killer Again by Chris Carrier: A Christian shares the Gospel with a man who stabbed him, shot him in the head, and left him for dead. In connection with Chris Carrier’s amazing story, see Leonard Pitt’s column, God is in the Rain, Not the Thunder

Amish Extend Hand to Family of Schoolhouse Killer

Scott and Janet Willis willing to meet with imprisoned Governor Ryan – Story on my blog of Scott and Janet Willis who lost six children in a fiery mini-van accident due, in part, to corruption in government.

5 Problems With Unconditional Forgiveness

Another point of encouragement for Christians who cannot agree

Unpacking the Casey Anthony Case

Should I confront an offender or just get over it

How can I stop thinking about it?

Didn’t Jesus Forgive Unconditionally on the Cross

Unpacking Forgiveness in Cambodia

Chris —  January 29, 2015

christopher-lapelI highly recommend this story of forgiveness.

An estimated 1.4 million died at the hands of the Khmer Rouge in the Killing Fields of Cambodia. The film company Moving Works has produced a new movie that shows how the light of Christ can shine in the darkest places possible. This film is:

An astonishing story of God’s love and grace, The Foremost chronicles the journey of Christopher LaPel, a Cambodian pastor who escaped the clutches of the Khmer Rouge regime only to return and cross paths with one of the most feared men in the country’s dark history. It’s an honest and hope-filled film that will challenge your views on forgiveness and grace no matter what you believe.

The Foremost from Moving Works on Vimeo.

HT: JT