Do you agree – – “time” is the aspect of suffering that makes it so difficult?
I have been preparing for months a sermon series: A Journey With Job: Seeing and Savoring the Beauty of Christ Amid the Long Walk of Suffering. Preaching on Job means preaching on suffering – – so I have been prayerfully reflecting on suffering a great deal.
One point which I have considered for some time is that “time” is what makes pain so difficult. We could stand any amount of pain for an instant. We could bear losing the person closest to us this morning if we knew we would see them in the afternoon.
But instant relief is not how it goes. And so pain becomes . . . painful. Time intensifies pain.
Having said that – – I would treasure your input. Does that point make sense? Would you agree?
I think it’s time, but it’s also not knowing how MUCH time. “How long, O Lord?” That’s where the suffering comes. We know that eventually God is working all things together for good. We just don’t know how long we’ll have to wait until we get there. Even years would be more bearable, if we could count them down.
Very good point, Chris. And the response in the comment above – “how long O Lord?” – from places like Psalm 13 and 40, adds biblical credence to your point. Interesting that “time” also works the other way. From a “result of sin” vantage point, we all deserve to suffer. Yet God is patient and long-suffering in delaying His discipline/judgment.
Not sure that makes sense. Need to tease that out a bit. Just thought of it now.
A number of years ago, you preached a sermon from II Timothy. You said a phrase that I wrote next to the verses in my Bible: “Connect short-term suffering with long-term glory, and you can endure.”
I say those words to myself once a week or so.
Time is the hardest part for me. I lost my family a little over 6 years ago (divorce) and the suffering hasn’t gotten any easier. My friends got compassion fatigue a long time ago. So time has been a real faith crusher, yet the Lord still holds onto me. I’ve had to learn, yet still struggle with, that the promise of Romans 8:28 may not be experienced by me until I die. The unchangingness is a challenge to hope. I have a lonely future ahead of me. Time can crush. I look forward to when I will consider this suffering as light and momentary.
These comments are all very helpful – – I am reading them and benefiting – -Alice, it’s even helpful to have my own words preached back to me!
Brent, I am so sorry for your pain. I don’t think we have any idea of how bad the pain unless we go through it. I pray that the Lord will grant you extra grace today. This moment.
I think you’re spot on, Chris. Our family has been dealing with horrific crimes committed against one of our children a decade ago. Had I known back then all the heartache, grief, and despair stretching out for 10 years and counting, I’m not so sure I would have had the strength to keep pressing on. In His mercy, though God doesn’t let us glimpse into earthly tomorrows. This sin-wracked world with all its pain has to wait for the rising of the sun before we start again to wrestle with whatever fresh hell awaits. But God’s mercies are new every morning and He provides me with the courage to face it all over again every day.
I agree. I think it is completely time along with our angle of view.
For me, time is like salt. In seasons of pain and grief, it has both the capacity to improve the bitter experience and intensify the bitter edge of it. And it’s hard to be satisfied with the measure; there’s either too much or too little.
Having lost my first wife, while relatively young in our years, following six years under the cloud of cancer, I would say time – in some way – healed and helped us by giving us time to process and prepare; but unavoidably, time also intensified pain…greatly. Six years under the cloud of cancer gave my first wife and I time to prepare – physically, emotionally and spiritually. Nonetheless, the last weeks – the last three days in particular – of my wife’s life were agony. It was agony to watch. Agony to part. Agony. There is no better word to describe that time. And I cannot imagine the agony she was going through. Minutes passed like long, long days. The whole six years felt shorter than those three days. The evening before she was called home I experienced the greatest tearing of my soul I have ever experienced. I longed for the Lord to call her home that night and take her away from the agony. That night, I never felt more desperately ready to release her into His arms. But it took another very long – painfully long – 24 hours.
And yet, Christ was with us – and those days also harboured some of the most incredible, unmistakeable testimonies of His presence. What helped greatly during that time was reflecting and trusting in the Sovereignty of God. Time – every last second -was in His hands.
After Annie was called home, every day felt like a lifetime. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up in heaven. And yet, God used the passing of time to teach me things that a life time of seminary probably would never achieve.
Time is like salt. It can improve and intensify the bitter experience of pain and grief.
As a child, the sound of the clock ticking in the still of night created fear in my heart. My older brother had died in a horrific crash and I was afraid to die. Every stroke of the clock meant I was getting closer to the inevitable. I knew there was no escape. Tick, tick, tick. How would I die? And when? I felt trapped in my body and in time.
As an adult, time has helped to heal deep wounds, and I don’t know that I would connect time as intimately to my suffering as I would the fact that I cannot physically reach out and touch God. God, being intangible and invisible, has meant that I have had to rely utterly on my faith in times of suffering, and that is hard to do because suffering by its very nature turns my attention away from God, to that which is causing me to suffer. In these times I have to work so much harder to keep my perspective, believing my suffering has purpose, and God is good.
When I’ve lost my eternal perspective, suffering intensifies. But when I gain it back I rest in the reality that while I can’t see it now, one day I will see things like I never saw them before. One day I will know and will understand, and that gives me hope. Hope is the one thing that eases pain and suffering.
I also like what you said about connecting short-term suffering to long-term glory… because it brings in an eternal perspective! Job said it all when he said, “I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth…” (19:25) He knew long after his flesh perished he would be alive, standing on earth–a real place–before his God and Redeemer.
I’d probably put love over time, with time a close second. Time does intensify the pain, but I think it is to the degree that we love that which is producing the pain, that makes time appear to slow down and drag on.
I do agree that not knowing the amount of time we will suffer seems to intensify our pain. I also wonder, though, if our pain isn’t intensified by our own poor theology. We seem to think that being a Christ-follower means no suffering and pain, at least not any suffering outside of natural, end-of-life death of a loved one suffering. And at that point that we experience pain or suffering for any other reason, we begin to internally rebel against it and beg for deliverance. I think our pain and suffering could seem less severe if/when our theology is more grounded in sharing in the sufferings of our Savior than sharing just sharing in His glory. I certainly don’t want to sound simplistic in this thought however. I just think it could be a combination of time and poor theology.
Deanna, you are right, I am sure. If our theology was all as it should be – -then we would be far more patient. I think we would deal with time better if we had the right theology. This sort of comment helps me as I prepare for Job. Thanks.
This is a profound thought that really has my head spinning – -there is a sense in which time is the dimension in which love can be seen. If time is a canvas, then love paints the picture of its beauty seen most in Christ. Very helpful. Said another way — “Time is necessary for the beauty of love to be seen.”
Debra – – it is so amazing to hear people’s stories and to see how they have been increasingly conformed to Christ.
Ryan, there is so much for me to reflect on in your comment. I am so thankful that Annie’s long suffering is over. I remember when I was last in the U.K. and she was in a bit of a reprieve – – the teens were so excited that she was doing better – – and then you right back into the fire. One day very soon we will all be together.
Chris, your post inspired me to include this line in my blog post:
“One of the hardest things about suffering is the “time” element. But God knows what we need, even before we do and his timing is perfect. Spurgeon goes on: ‘Say not my soul, From whence can God relieve my care?’ Remember that Omnipotence has servants everywhere. His method is sublime, his heart profoundly kind, God never is before his time, and never is behind.”
Brent, I’m sorry for your loneliness. I hope my blog post would be an encouragement to you too. The link is http://www.bereconciled.com/spiritual-reflections/fighting-loneliness/
Great thoughts Peter. There is so much I understand (and much I don’t) but the experience of living through it can be so difficult.
Time is an issue, no doubt. The nightmare of having both my son’s wives leaving them this year seems to go on and on and on. My oldest son’s wife left him-loving the bottle more than him and abusing him. She rejected all attempts at counseling and finally left. He filed for divorce and recently obtained it, but the scars are still there. My other son’s wife recently left him because she said: “I don’t love you anymore.” That’s it. She says she doesn’t believe in God and that the marriage license and the wedding itself is useless. The problem is that they have a 3 year old (our wonderful granddaughter). My wife and I are going through some difficult issues like anger, and forgiveness. We do have hope and are holding on to the promise of Romans 8:28.
Living with physical pain over a period of time tests faith. I often have to ask God for courage to walk through the day. Complaining doesn’t help me feel better so I have learned to not talk about it.
Bob – – I can’t imagine how difficult it is to deal with such pain across so many years. People do it. But it’s a long road. I pray you will get relief in every way.
Tom – – what a year you have had. I am so sorry. Our son had his appendix out last night and I realize that in the world of concern over children, that was nothing! I pray that the Lord will grant you great grace and strength. I pray especially for your little granddaughter!