A fun illustration for this point, “Before confronting, ask, ‘How sure am I that I am right?’”

Chris —  October 19, 2010

Listen to this clip.  It’s only 1:50 and you won’t be disappointed! It comes by way of the indefatigable Vitamin Z.  Then read the below post.  We’ll let you count this as part of your devotions for the day.

One of the chapters in Unpacking Forgiveness is, “To Drop, or Not to Drop.”  Obviously there are some offenses per Matthew 18:15 ff where we must approach the other party.  At the same time, Scripture tells us that love covers a multitude of sins.

So how do we decide when to drop it and when to confront it?

I suggest several criteria (more here) in Unpacking, one of which is, “How sure am I that I am right?”

Almost always, a conflict between two parties is complicated. Even if you were genuinely offended, right and wrong might not be immediately clear. You may be hurt that someone was rather curt about you being late for an appointment. And, maybe the other party was too direct. On the other hand, perhaps it was inconsiderate for you to be late.

In those instances where right and wrong are not clear, it is usually best to drop the matter. Love covers over a multitude of sins. A person’s wisdom gives him patience.

Two other observations are in order. First, if there truly is sin in the life of the other person and it is someone with whom you interact on an ongoing basis, then it will probably come up again. You can talk about it at that time. Second, if you always—or almost always—think you are right, then you have a pride problem.


Credit to James Jeffery, Unpublished Lecture on When to Confront

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One response to A fun illustration for this point, “Before confronting, ask, ‘How sure am I that I am right?’”

  1. I must admit, that is something I might do. Not make the complaint call, but come to the wrong conclusion about the matter.

    Yeah…pride. Been there, done that, too. Love does indeed cover a multitude of sins – Love covered mine.