Let me tell you something to avoid asking a friend who is feeling down. I am not saying it is always wrong, but be careful. Ask this question and you may make the situation worse.
Here is the question to avoid, “How are you doing?” “How’s it going for you?”
Not always, but often, people think themselves into a mental tailspin. Introspection, thinking about how you feel, can be a kind of mental quicksand. When you ask a person with that struggle, “How are you doing?” You only encourage him or her to continue focusing inward.
Psalm 77:1-20 is the story of someone in a mental battle. The Psalmist said he couldn’t sleep and felt like God was against him. Twice (Psalm 77:3,6) he says that he “mused.” I looked that word up. “To muse” means to turn things over and over in ones mind without achieving any resolution.
The turning point came when the Psalmist stopped thinking about how He was doing and began to focus on God. He asked Himself, “Has God’s unfailing love failed?” (Psalm 77:7-9) The answer to that question is obviously “no.”
So, maybe instead of asking people how they are doing, we should ask them, “How is God doing?” (Psalm 77:12)
The answer to that question is that God is glorious. There is none like Him. He never sleeps or slumbers and He always accomplishes exactly what He seeks to do. He is a loving, merciful God. And, If you are truly a Christian, then He works all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
Chris,
This reminds me of Martyn Lloyd-Jones and his insistence, in Spiritual Depression, that we ask ourselves not “how do I feel about this?” but “what do I believe about this?” Your thoughts here extend that axiom to how we communicate with others. Most helpful!
Michele, I am with you, Martyn Lloyd-Jones came to mind. He also said something to the effect of “preach to yourself instead of listening to yourself.” (maybe that was said along with what you referenced, I am not sure)
Great, great post.
The sureness of the Rock’s faithfulness is something to cling to.
Too funny! I clicked through to this post only to discover that I commented on it two years ago. 🙂 It’s such a helpful, practical word to offer–and I’m very familiar with the mental tailspin described. Thanks for the reminder!